i should be much better at blogging, but i'm not. turns out my life isn't that interesting...so for the 2.5 people who read this...i'm about to go wash my dear, dirty honda. it's 71 degrees out on this beautiful day! i still can't wait until i move down to warmer weather someday!
have a great weekend!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
cuz i know better not to be friends with boys with girlfriends...
ok, it doesn't really. but i'm slowly finding that month 5 of work isn't much easier than month 1 was. i've never felt so stupid, nor emotional in my life. school was so much easier and not as stressful.
a little background: i work as a analyst at a big company here in town. i'm the new one and i feel like i'm the one that makes those stupid mistakes. my job gets stressfull because people are stupid and non-compliant most of the time. it doesn't help that my boss, though nice, is busy and thinks i'm a moron. somedays i drive home and all i can do is cry because i feel helpless. i think my parents/friends think i overreact, but they honestly don't know this is the most difficult time in my life.
see...i was good at school, relatively. i studied, i worked hard, i sucked a few classes up but there was NOTHING that i couldn't really do if i didn't study my butt off. working is the complete opposite...you can read the books, walk the walk and talk to the right people but you still feel helpless when you mess up/have to learn.
i think the worst part of it is i'm not exactly trusted to do things yet without my boss approving. and since he's so busy it's hard and when 10 people want things by the end of the day from you it's hard. it's confusing and sometimes i just want to cry.
thankfully we had a work party last weekend and it was so nice. i almost feel accepted now, which is delightful but i still am a moron. one step forward, one step back eh?
and crying?! what's with that? it's one of my character flaws but i think i'm a little too emotional lately. it must be some strange hormones (i'm not pregnant). i wish i was one of those people that got fiesty and mad when they were upset, but alas, i'm always the one holding back tears in front of my boss. but it doesn't count as crying if they don't fall, right? he told me once that i seemed flustered lately and asked if "everything in my personal life was going ok"...or something like that. i almost died...teared up ( a couple cruddy things in my personal life had happened, but i wasn't about to spill this to my 40 year old boss)...and told him it was just a rough week, which i feel suffices.
fuck that. i'm one hell of a frazzled person. people make me so anxious sometimes, esp at work. it doesn't help i don't have many people to vent to.
somedays i'm convinced i'm about to get canned. all this financial shit i deal with on a daily basis gets long, and number crunching isn't necessarily my favorite thing.
on the other hand, i have a job. albeit boring and stressful sometimes, i'm employed and hallejuah (spell!?) to that. i think that if i didn't workout like a fiend nightly, i'd go completely nuts...like "woah, what happened to her?!" crazy. thank yaweh i haven't gotten there yet.
i'm obessed with the song "boys with girlfriends" by meiko. seriously good shit.
hmm what else...living at home is starting to drive me batty but i can't find the time to apartment hunt.
time to work out....treadmill i hope you're ready for me
a little background: i work as a analyst at a big company here in town. i'm the new one and i feel like i'm the one that makes those stupid mistakes. my job gets stressfull because people are stupid and non-compliant most of the time. it doesn't help that my boss, though nice, is busy and thinks i'm a moron. somedays i drive home and all i can do is cry because i feel helpless. i think my parents/friends think i overreact, but they honestly don't know this is the most difficult time in my life.
see...i was good at school, relatively. i studied, i worked hard, i sucked a few classes up but there was NOTHING that i couldn't really do if i didn't study my butt off. working is the complete opposite...you can read the books, walk the walk and talk to the right people but you still feel helpless when you mess up/have to learn.
i think the worst part of it is i'm not exactly trusted to do things yet without my boss approving. and since he's so busy it's hard and when 10 people want things by the end of the day from you it's hard. it's confusing and sometimes i just want to cry.
thankfully we had a work party last weekend and it was so nice. i almost feel accepted now, which is delightful but i still am a moron. one step forward, one step back eh?
and crying?! what's with that? it's one of my character flaws but i think i'm a little too emotional lately. it must be some strange hormones (i'm not pregnant). i wish i was one of those people that got fiesty and mad when they were upset, but alas, i'm always the one holding back tears in front of my boss. but it doesn't count as crying if they don't fall, right? he told me once that i seemed flustered lately and asked if "everything in my personal life was going ok"...or something like that. i almost died...teared up ( a couple cruddy things in my personal life had happened, but i wasn't about to spill this to my 40 year old boss)...and told him it was just a rough week, which i feel suffices.
fuck that. i'm one hell of a frazzled person. people make me so anxious sometimes, esp at work. it doesn't help i don't have many people to vent to.
somedays i'm convinced i'm about to get canned. all this financial shit i deal with on a daily basis gets long, and number crunching isn't necessarily my favorite thing.
on the other hand, i have a job. albeit boring and stressful sometimes, i'm employed and hallejuah (spell!?) to that. i think that if i didn't workout like a fiend nightly, i'd go completely nuts...like "woah, what happened to her?!" crazy. thank yaweh i haven't gotten there yet.
i'm obessed with the song "boys with girlfriends" by meiko. seriously good shit.
hmm what else...living at home is starting to drive me batty but i can't find the time to apartment hunt.
time to work out....treadmill i hope you're ready for me
Friday, January 9, 2009
friday funday
i need to pick back up with this thing. i'm about to go out with a few friends and am very much looking forward to this weekend, despite the snow and impending cold....as in high of 0 degrees on tuesday. oy vey.
i'm getting my hair highlighted tomorrow, who knows what i'll end up with...last time i was borderline blonde.
i'm planning this years trips...which involve nyc, obx, and possibly ireland later in the year! cannot wait.
work this week was beyond stressful. i hated every moment of it but it's over now!!
i'm getting my hair highlighted tomorrow, who knows what i'll end up with...last time i was borderline blonde.
i'm planning this years trips...which involve nyc, obx, and possibly ireland later in the year! cannot wait.
work this week was beyond stressful. i hated every moment of it but it's over now!!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
50 things you may or may not know about me...
thought it would be fun....tagging....EVERYONE
1. i once accidently killed a duck while skipping stones on lake michigan. i feel bad about it to this day.
2. i'm neurotic about things, and am learning to be more effective and less efficient.
3. blue is my favorite color
4. i've been to europe 3 times, and would like to go back in the fall for a change
5. road rage is a vice of mine, hopefully if i have kids someday i can tone that down by then :)
6. i have a fish named stanley, he's big and yells at me when i don't feed him
7. i'm a daddy's girl through and through. we work in very similar ways.
8. i'm currently embarking on month 3 of being a analyst at a software company. i can't say it's what i want to do with the rest of my life but i'm lucky to be employed.
9. i have mood swings, and rely on working out a lot to help me with them.
10. there are some things i miss about college and others i'm way over
11. i can count on one hand the number of guys i've falled head over heels for.
12. i cannot remember how long it took me (or will take me) to get over them
13. one of my most favorite people in the world and i are very different, but somehow it works out well.
14. i'm ok with living in my hometown again
15. i have wonderful friends, here and there and far away
16. one of my relatives lives in europe, and loves it...i envy her.
17. i don't take many risks
18. i don't say the things i should say to people (good or bad)
19. the time i spent living in france was by far, the most live changing and wonderful 6 months of my life. period.
20. i hope i can find absolute bliss like that again
21. fall is the best season around. esp here in the midwest
22. i love southern and british accents.
23. i got a speeding ticket about 6 months ago and still contend it wasn't my fault.
24. when i first learned to talk, i couldn't say my own name
25. people often have trouble pronouncing my middle name, i like that.
26. the first time i drank i had the equivalent of 10 shots...and then i puked.
27. i like to say i'm fluent in french because i have a degree in it, but i'm not.
28. i love anything french, it's a strange obsession
29. the green bay packers are by far the best nfl team, despite wins/losses
30. i hope to be married by the time i'm 26 (kind of early, i know)
31. i think the thing that a lot of people (including myself) are missing in life is affection.
32. i want 4 kids
33. i absolutely want a dog, but i don't think if i move it'll be allowed :(
34. i am bigger than my body gives me credit for (thanks john mayer for that one)
35. guiness with red currant syrup is my new favorite beer concoction
36. i'm ALWAYS cold.
37. one of the things i miss most about living with people my age is the laughter, i don't laugh as much as i used to.
38. i have a journal that i sparsely write in, but i've had it almost 2 years
39. i get flustered and frustrated quite easily
40. i wanted to be an air traffic controller when i was earlier.
41. i've become a runner lately and i like what it's doing to my body...it's kind of addicting
42. jon and kate plus 8 is one of my favorite show addictions. i think kate's too hard on him though
43. i am decided in this years election.
44. one of my wishes for the future is that if i get married, i can marry into a fun, huge, loving and close family that i don't see with my own sometimes.
45. los angeles is a wonderful city but i'd NEVER move there.
46. i refuse to get on a motorcycle
47. i wish people called me more. maybe i should do the same.
48. i hate AIM but it's the only way i talk to most of my out-of-town people
49. hugs are wonderful, and not given enough
50. i'm a little scared to move into my own apartment ALONE in a few months. i don't know if i can handle myself.
ok, that's it. your turn....what don't i know about you?!
1. i once accidently killed a duck while skipping stones on lake michigan. i feel bad about it to this day.
2. i'm neurotic about things, and am learning to be more effective and less efficient.
3. blue is my favorite color
4. i've been to europe 3 times, and would like to go back in the fall for a change
5. road rage is a vice of mine, hopefully if i have kids someday i can tone that down by then :)
6. i have a fish named stanley, he's big and yells at me when i don't feed him
7. i'm a daddy's girl through and through. we work in very similar ways.
8. i'm currently embarking on month 3 of being a analyst at a software company. i can't say it's what i want to do with the rest of my life but i'm lucky to be employed.
9. i have mood swings, and rely on working out a lot to help me with them.
10. there are some things i miss about college and others i'm way over
11. i can count on one hand the number of guys i've falled head over heels for.
12. i cannot remember how long it took me (or will take me) to get over them
13. one of my most favorite people in the world and i are very different, but somehow it works out well.
14. i'm ok with living in my hometown again
15. i have wonderful friends, here and there and far away
16. one of my relatives lives in europe, and loves it...i envy her.
17. i don't take many risks
18. i don't say the things i should say to people (good or bad)
19. the time i spent living in france was by far, the most live changing and wonderful 6 months of my life. period.
20. i hope i can find absolute bliss like that again
21. fall is the best season around. esp here in the midwest
22. i love southern and british accents.
23. i got a speeding ticket about 6 months ago and still contend it wasn't my fault.
24. when i first learned to talk, i couldn't say my own name
25. people often have trouble pronouncing my middle name, i like that.
26. the first time i drank i had the equivalent of 10 shots...and then i puked.
27. i like to say i'm fluent in french because i have a degree in it, but i'm not.
28. i love anything french, it's a strange obsession
29. the green bay packers are by far the best nfl team, despite wins/losses
30. i hope to be married by the time i'm 26 (kind of early, i know)
31. i think the thing that a lot of people (including myself) are missing in life is affection.
32. i want 4 kids
33. i absolutely want a dog, but i don't think if i move it'll be allowed :(
34. i am bigger than my body gives me credit for (thanks john mayer for that one)
35. guiness with red currant syrup is my new favorite beer concoction
36. i'm ALWAYS cold.
37. one of the things i miss most about living with people my age is the laughter, i don't laugh as much as i used to.
38. i have a journal that i sparsely write in, but i've had it almost 2 years
39. i get flustered and frustrated quite easily
40. i wanted to be an air traffic controller when i was earlier.
41. i've become a runner lately and i like what it's doing to my body...it's kind of addicting
42. jon and kate plus 8 is one of my favorite show addictions. i think kate's too hard on him though
43. i am decided in this years election.
44. one of my wishes for the future is that if i get married, i can marry into a fun, huge, loving and close family that i don't see with my own sometimes.
45. los angeles is a wonderful city but i'd NEVER move there.
46. i refuse to get on a motorcycle
47. i wish people called me more. maybe i should do the same.
48. i hate AIM but it's the only way i talk to most of my out-of-town people
49. hugs are wonderful, and not given enough
50. i'm a little scared to move into my own apartment ALONE in a few months. i don't know if i can handle myself.
ok, that's it. your turn....what don't i know about you?!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
presque vendredi.
ce soir, je voudrais écrire en français. je sais que la lanque française est trop belle pour moi, mais j'essaye de temps en temps, ça devient plus difficile après les études. maintenant, la vie est un peu difficile et je prévois une période d'incertitude devant moi. ce n'est pas toujours trop transparent. c'est un peu effrayant, mais la vie est une route, et le voyage est aussi important que la destination, n'est ce pas? si vous comprenez tout ça, je suis désolée pour les erreurs, ça fait un peu de temps, non? tout est nul et quelque fois sans passion.
quand je suis très incertain avec les choses, ou je suis en colère a propos de q.q.c. j'écris en français, et c'est plus facile que les mots ou les actions. la grammaire n'est toujours correcte, mais après cette expression, je me sens un peu soulage....en sachant que il y a des personnes qui ne comprennent pas ce que j'exprime, c'est plutôt le pareil, même si les personnes tout comprennent.
d'être heureuse, ça c'est plus difficile. mon âme est fatigue, et je semble d'être coincé par mon métier, ma vie, les choses qui sont confortables. je vais changer ma vie avant que la vie me change. j'ai besoin d'oublier mes regrets, j'ai besoin d'oublier que on ne peut pas changer le concret. et je dois trouver la paix avec tout ça, dans même façon possible. et avant tout, j'ai besoin mes amis et ceux qui m'aiment...
mon cœur se brise. la fin. laisse-moi tranquille, le passé.
quand je suis très incertain avec les choses, ou je suis en colère a propos de q.q.c. j'écris en français, et c'est plus facile que les mots ou les actions. la grammaire n'est toujours correcte, mais après cette expression, je me sens un peu soulage....en sachant que il y a des personnes qui ne comprennent pas ce que j'exprime, c'est plutôt le pareil, même si les personnes tout comprennent.
d'être heureuse, ça c'est plus difficile. mon âme est fatigue, et je semble d'être coincé par mon métier, ma vie, les choses qui sont confortables. je vais changer ma vie avant que la vie me change. j'ai besoin d'oublier mes regrets, j'ai besoin d'oublier que on ne peut pas changer le concret. et je dois trouver la paix avec tout ça, dans même façon possible. et avant tout, j'ai besoin mes amis et ceux qui m'aiment...
mon cœur se brise. la fin. laisse-moi tranquille, le passé.
Monday, October 6, 2008
stolen from grace, a high school meme
Did you marry someone from your high school? No, that'll probably end up being a good thing.
Did you carpool? No, I either got a ride from my parents or walked, it was not even a mile from my house
What kind of car did you have? haha, i didn't get my own car till i was 21
What kind of car do you have now? my honda, a beautiful beast
It’s Friday night…where are you? prob at cat's eating gushers and watching movies
Now It’s Friday night…where are you? hopefully doing something fun
What kind of job did you have in high school? restaurants, babysitting
What do you do now? analyst
Were you a party animal? not at all
Were you considered a flirt? possibly
Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? band for two years
Can you sing the fight song? yeah, it's not much of a fight song
Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)? french and political science ones
Where did you sit during lunch? in the pool building, same spot every day
What was your school’s full name? whoreweed high school (not really, but close)
When did you graduate? 2004
What was your school mascot? a greyhound, weak.
If you could go back and do it again, would you? yes and no, i miss the lack of responsiblity and social part, i don't miss the immaturity and self-loathing
What do you remember most about graduation? it poured and the only pictures i have are indoors
Who did you take to the senior prom? stag
Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with? yeah, they're pretty awesome
Are you planning on going to your 50 year reunion? yeah
Do you still see people from school? some of them
Did you carpool? No, I either got a ride from my parents or walked, it was not even a mile from my house
What kind of car did you have? haha, i didn't get my own car till i was 21
What kind of car do you have now? my honda, a beautiful beast
It’s Friday night…where are you? prob at cat's eating gushers and watching movies
Now It’s Friday night…where are you? hopefully doing something fun
What kind of job did you have in high school? restaurants, babysitting
What do you do now? analyst
Were you a party animal? not at all
Were you considered a flirt? possibly
Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? band for two years
Can you sing the fight song? yeah, it's not much of a fight song
Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)? french and political science ones
Where did you sit during lunch? in the pool building, same spot every day
What was your school’s full name? whoreweed high school (not really, but close)
When did you graduate? 2004
What was your school mascot? a greyhound, weak.
If you could go back and do it again, would you? yes and no, i miss the lack of responsiblity and social part, i don't miss the immaturity and self-loathing
What do you remember most about graduation? it poured and the only pictures i have are indoors
Who did you take to the senior prom? stag
Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with? yeah, they're pretty awesome
Are you planning on going to your 50 year reunion? yeah
Do you still see people from school? some of them
Thursday, September 25, 2008
i'm a horrible person
i haven't been bloggin...at....all. well, for the 5 of you that may or may not read this, thanks for your eye-time.
life is ok.....working.....managing a meager social life....anxious about a lot of things...
my job has become a little more demanding....wow, the software industry is like that. i guess that's what growing up is about!
and guess what?! on my favorite show tonight, the offce....JIM PROPOSED TO PAM!!
i'm so happy, and i'm not even involved...haha.
so yeah, what's up with YOU?
life is ok.....working.....managing a meager social life....anxious about a lot of things...
my job has become a little more demanding....wow, the software industry is like that. i guess that's what growing up is about!
and guess what?! on my favorite show tonight, the offce....JIM PROPOSED TO PAM!!
i'm so happy, and i'm not even involved...haha.
so yeah, what's up with YOU?
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